The Haçienda Read online

  If Suzanne fell out with you, she wouldn’t let you in the kitchen. She’d say, ‘Fuck off. Fuck off. No, fuck off,’ and refuse to have anything to do with you.

  I’d stand there many times, dying for a piss, begging to be let in. She ran the kitchen like a club within a club with its own separate door policy.

  We fought over daft things. One time I went in trying to get some drugs.She said,‘I’ve got a bit of speed here,but it’s really strong.Be very careful with it.’

  I went, ‘Yeah, yeah. Fuck off, Suzanne.’

  She gave me this wrap of stuff called Pink Champagne. And it was actually pink. I took a big fat line of it (‘I’ll show her’) and was wide awake for four days. I got rather well acquainted with my ceiling during that time. She laughed her ass off, phoning me up every day, asking, ‘How you feeling? Told you, didn’t I, you fucking, greedy pig.’ We really did enjoy a rather special relationship.

  Another reason I needed the kitchen, remember: the Haçienda bogs were rubbish. The architects spent so much on the balcony, the plastic wall, the arches and all that crap, yet nobody had considered that for a club licensed to hold 1200 people we’d need more than four toilets for the men and eight for the girls. We let in 2000 people, so the bogs overflowed all the time and everyone in the basement walked around ankle-deep in piss and shit. Quite horrible, but it became a standing joke. ‘Haçienda trousers’, we called it. Everyone had to have them – or you weren’t a fully paid-up member of the Experience.

  We had lot of problems because of the queues for the toilets. They became legendary for fights because there were so many punters in the stalls getting twatted, which stopped anyone else getting inside for a shit (vicious circle: they needed a shit because they’d been taking drugs). They’d all be bursting. It was a nightmare right from the start. There simply weren’t enough stalls. For years and years we tried to put that right but we could never afford to do it. Today, you wouldn’t be allowed to open a club with so few toilets.

  The mood could get heavy, though. I remember thinking one night that I’d rough it and use the toilets. I was waiting to go in one of the stalls when this kid pushed past:a thin,wiry,psycho-looking little fucker.

  I muttered, ‘Oh, fuckin’ hell,’ or something and waited for him to come out. When he did, I told him, ‘Hey, there’s a queue here, you know.’

  He got right in my face – nose to nose – and went, ‘Fuck off, you cunt.’

  His eyes were absolutely empty, like a shark. Shit.

  After that, I thought, ‘Fuck that, I’ll stick to the kitchen and my famous Hellmann’s bucket.’

  I’d stand there, peeing in my bucket, and Suzanne would be telling all the punters queuing up for chips and water, ‘Do you fucking see him there? The dirty bastard.He’s a director.He owns the fucking place and he’s pissing in a bucket in the corner.’

  To get back at her, I’d chase her around with it. Thinking about it now, I should have kept it – I could have sold it on eBay.

  In addition to the problems with the toilets, the cloakroom wasn’t big enough either (we had, after all, improvised with the location) and that turned into an issue as well. Everyone who worked there was so off it they’d sometimes just give the coats away. It was located right by the main doors and created a real bottleneck, so there was lots of jostling and lots of aggro.

  One night I was stood talking to one of the bouncers and some pissed-up kid lurched forward. The bouncer told him, ‘Back of the queue, mate,’ but the kid tried to push his way past.

  ‘Hey, mate,’ repeated the doorman. ‘There’s a queue here.’

  The kid muttered something then tried again, and again so the bouncer lamped him. Sparkled the guy.

  ‘Well,’I thought.‘He did try to warn him ...’

  We were so busy – yet still strapped for cash – that maintenance on the building was impossible. The floor had originally been painted grey, which made the place look bright, but after a while it wore down to bare concrete. After all the money we had lost on the set-up, and the really bad business we’d suffered during the first few years (cue tumbleweed),every penny was needed just to keep it afloat.

  Not that it stopped us partying.Nothing did.When we hosted the Disorder party in the basement, celebrating New Order’s gig at the Manchester G-Mex in December that year, all of our friends were completely twatted. The party cost us £10,000, which was lucky because we’d just earned £10,010 for the gig. A profit of £10. But we just carried on. No one cared. We were that off it. I lasted ten minutes at the party before I got dragged home by the missus for being a naughty boy. I was gutted.

  Present at that same party (which was assigned a Factory Records catalogue number, FAC 208) was Creation Records boss Alan McGee, whose label was struggling now that his biggest band, The House of Love, had left for a major label (although he remained their manager). All his hopes seemed to be pinned on an Anglo-Irish noise-rock band, My Bloody Valentine, who had been widely dismissed as third-rate by most critics in the years 1986 and 1987.

  McGee had taken ecstasy that night – not for the first time, but it was possibly the most significant. As he stumbled on to the basement’s dance floor, he had an epiphany.

  ‘I heard acid-house music and suddenly I got it,’ he told writer David Cavanagh. ‘Something went click and I went into a new world. December 17 is when I got acid house. And that’s when Creation changed.’

  McGee was then a regular visitor to the Haçienda. He, and Creation, spent 1989 partying, and by the following year he had introduced Primal Scream to acid house. Producer Andy Weatherall was found and the era’s anthem, ‘Loaded’, was released.

  JANUARY

  Friday 1st NUDE YEAR’S DAY MP2– Mike Pickering and Martin Prendergast

  Saturday 2nd WIDE Dean; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Thursday 7th TEMPERANCE CLUB Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 8th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 15th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 20th ZUMBAR HOT FLESH Pedro; fashion PA by James

  Friday 22nd NUDE Spoonie G;Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 27th ZUMBAR Dead Marilyn (Monroe impersonator)

  Friday 29th NUDE Mike Pickering

  FEBRUARY

  Wednesday 3rd ZUMBAR Dollar;fashion PA by Marc Benedict

  Friday 5th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 10th ZUMBAR Eddie Burke

  Friday 12th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 17th ZUMBAR Ruthless Rap Assassins; Kiss AMC; fashion show by Identity

  Friday 19th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 24th ZUMBAR Oberton

  Friday 26th NUDE NORTHERN HOUSE REVUE T-Coy; T-Cut; Groove; Graeme Park; Mike Pickering

  MARCH

  Wednesday 2nd ZUMBAR KARAOKE NIGHT fashion PA by Team for Hair

  Friday 4th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 9th ZUMBAR Walking Hawk; White Dove

  Friday 11th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 16th ZUMBAR Elvis (singer Jim White)

  Friday 18th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Monday 21st BHANGRA DISCO Naya Saaz; Tripple B

  Wednesday 23rd ZUMBAR Mr Boxman

  Friday 25th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 30th ZUMBAR The Amazing Orchante; fashion by Aspecto

  APRIL

  Friday 1st NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 6th ZUMBAR Big Ed & his Rockin’ Rattlesnakes

  Friday 8th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 13th ZUMBAR Frank Sidebottom; fashion by Geese

  Friday 15th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 20th ZUMBAR DISCO DANCE CHAMPIONSHIPS hosted by Mike Baldwin; Miguel; Pedro

  Friday 22nd NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 27th ZUMBAR Boys Wonder

  Friday 29th NUDE Mike Pickering

  MAY

  Monday 2nd NUDE BANK HOLIDAY SPECIAL Kid ’n’ Play; Taurus Boyz; Julian Jonah; MP2 – Mike Pickering and Martin Prendergast

  Wednesday 4th ZUMBAR Pope & Crocker


  Friday 6th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 11th ZUMBAR KARRY-ON-KARAOKE Jimmy Corkhill; Miguel: Pedro

  Thursday 12th TEMPERANCE CLUB the Happy Mondays

  Friday 13th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 18th ZUMBAR Les Bubb

  Friday 20th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 21st SIXTH BIRTHDAY HAUNTED HOUSE PARTY Dead Marilyn

  Wednesday 25th ZUMBAR Rob Gray

  Friday 27th NUDE Mike Pickering

  JUNE

  Wednesday 1st ZUMBAR Dead Marilyn; the Railway Children; Brilliant Corners

  Friday 3rd NUDE Mike Pickering

  Monday 6th BENEFIT GIG (for the North West Campaign for Lesbian and Gay Equality) Railway Children; Brilliant Corners

  Wednesday 8th ZUMBAR the King

  Friday 10th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 15th ZUMBAR the Wee Papa Girl Rappers; fashion by Pebbles

  Friday 17th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 22nd ZUMBAR Stevie Starr

  Friday 24th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 25th WIDE

  Wednesday 29th ZUMBAR Miss Zumbar 1988

  JULY

  Friday 1st NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 6th i-D WORLD TOUR Mark Moore; MC Merlin; Sarah Stockbridge

  Friday 8th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 13th HOT Jon DaSilva; Mike Pickering

  Friday 15th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 20th HOT Brylcreem Contest

  Friday 22nd NUDE Graeme Park

  Wednesday 27th HOT BEACH WORKOUT Muscley Dream Boys

  Friday 29th NUDE Mike Pickering

  AUGUST

  Friday 5th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 6th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 12th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 13th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 19th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 20th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 26th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 27th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  SEPTEMBER

  Friday 2nd NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 3rd Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 9th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 10th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 16th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 17th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 23rd NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 24th Jon DaSilva; Hedd-Dave Haslam

  Friday 30th NUDE Mike Pickering

  OCTOBER

  Friday 7th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Monday 10th TEMPERANCE CLUB the Train Set; Dave Haslam

  Friday 14th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 21st NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 28th NUDE Mike Pickering

  NOVEMBER

  Friday 4th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Sunday 6th Wall of Surf (film screening in the Gay Traitor)

  Friday 11th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Monday 14th TEMPERANCE CLUB the Waltones; Jerry Dammers

  Friday 18th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 25th NUDE Mike Pickering

  DECEMBER

  Friday 2nd NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 9th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Friday 16th NUDE, plus ‘North’, Mike Pickering

  Saturday 17th DISORDER New Order

  Wednesday 21st HOT: THE FINAL PARTY Jon DaSilva; Mike Pickering

  Friday 23rd WISE MOVES SEVENTH ANNUAL BALL (and Creditors’ Meeting) live entertainments

  Saturday 24th CHRISTMAS EVE Jon DaSilva; Mike Pickering

  Wednesday 28th HOUSE NATION guest DJs; the Steamer

  Friday 30th NUDE Mike Pickering

  Saturday 31st NEW YEAR’S EVE Mike Pickering; Graeme Park; Dave Haslam; Jon DaSilva

  ‘What made the Haçienda so special was the insane acoustics. I remember complaining about them on the opening night. But, five years later, when it all exploded, I realized that the nature of the building, and its high roof, made it feel like a Gothic cathedral, allowing hymns to be sent to the Gods.’

  Tony Wilson

  ‘The first couple of weeks of Hot were reasonably ‘normal’, but from the third week it was mayhem.It was almost scary.I came out of the DJ booth and there was this guy with dreadlocks who was almost hysterical, crying and laughing at the same time, just blown away by the atmosphere. You almost felt like you were missing out by DJing, you wanted to be on the floor.’

  Jon DaSilva

  ‘I was DJing at the Haçienda one evening and a girl came into the DJ box,lay down and took all her clothes off.She was naked,and started pulling at my trousers. I was wise enough to know it was E taking effect, rather than anything to do with me, but it was just one of those things; there was a lot of craziness in the air.’

  Dave Haslam

  The year began with the Haçienda enjoying unprecedented popularity. The Hot night had ended on a high at the end of 1988, to be replaced by House Nation, meaning that the Wednesday night never missed a beat. Dave Haslam’s Temperance Club still ran on Thursdays; Nude, with Park and Pickering DJing, was on Fridays; then on Saturday nights there was Wide, featuring Jon DaSilva.

  It was the year that Madchester took off, and indie-dance was born, kick-started by Paul Oakenfold’s W.F.L. remix of the Happy Monday’s ‘Wrote for Luck’ and further cemented by the Rave On EP and remixes. In November the Mondays appeared with the Stone Roses and Inspiral Carpets on Top of the Pops and the Madchester phenomenon had its most defining moment. All eyes were on Manchester – and at the centre of it was the Haçienda, which was being credited with attracting tourists and students to the city and thus boosting the local economy.

  Before all of that, however, came The Hitman and Her, the late-night clubbing show with Pete Waterman and Michaela Strachan. It paid a visit to the Haçienda in January 1989 and legend has it that Strachans’ drink was spiked ...

  They had a lot of trouble at that one: loads of young kids showed up trying to get in, and the usual tensions built up until a riot erupted. In desperation,the coppers had to shut off Whitworth Street yet again.

  If you watch that episode of the show, there’s a karaoke competition. The winner, at the ripe old age of seventeen, was Dave Potts ‘Pottsy’, who was soon to become my tape operator at my Rochdale studio, Suite 16, then my bandmate in Revenge and Monaco. Small world.

  Personally, I missed most of the Madchester period because I was in America with New Order but,once our very successful Technique tour ended, Bernard and I stayed locally, working on projects of our own. He started Electronic with Johnny Marr of the Smiths, while I started Revenge, and the two of us became inveterate (although independent) partygoers,and pains in the arses for the staff.

  What I found was that the city had changed a lot in our absence and the Haçienda had become a phenomenon. Reporters and tourists from all over the world descended on it. Journalists would wait for the staff to arrive in the morning and quiz them about the club, trying to get an exclusive insight.

  Rave was now massive.Everything that used to be underground was suddenly overground and there was still an Ibizan vibe in the air. Even the weather was Ibizan, with the summers of 1988 and 1989 turning out to be really hot; and whereas it used to be empty all the time, now it was packed every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday with upwards of 8000 sweaty, happy people, the bass pumping loud and deep. You couldn’t move without bumping into Italian, Japanese or American tourists and the club became a holiday destination for music fans from all over the world, like the Salford Lads Club for fans of the Smiths, or the Cavern in Liverpool for the Beatles. Americans would immediately walk up to me and say, ‘Oh, hi, Hooky, I’m here from Pittsburgh. How are you?’ the way Americans do, whereas the European ones were a bit cooler but came for the vibe nonetheless. Even my normal friends,who wouldn’t typically go to the club,started frequenting it. They came along for the vibe – and of course the free drinks and guest-list helped.

&nbs
p; Speaking of which . . . During one of the weekly management meetings, somebody mentioned my drinks bill. It seemed that while New Order had been in America for our twelve-week tour, I’d continued drinking at the club. Impossible, given that I’d been thousands of miles away, right? Turned out that two of my best mates had set up a drinks tab while I was away,saying that Hooky would sort it when he got back. Once they’d done it, a couple of others joined in too. The staff just went along with it. I didn’t mind, really – we’re all fucking chancers, aren’t we?

  Even without my mates, about £4000 in free drinks was signed off per month. VIP stuff, I suppose. One month the figure dropped to £2000 and Rob gave the bar manager a bollocking, saying he wasn’t hosting the club properly (which was odd, considering that Rob paid for every drink he ever had;no perks for him).Plus he kept giving me bollockings about my drinks bill, even suggesting that either I should pay it or the other members of the band should get the same.

  In February,the Void club opened,taking over from House Nation.The night had a space theme: two giant spacemen floated over the stage, bar staff wore space-suits bearing the Void logo and there were distorting mirrors along the balcony. The music policy remained broadly the same as it had done during Hot and House Nation, though: house music courtesy of DJs Jon DaSilva and Mike Pickering. Void would go on to be remembered as yet another landmark club night.

  In May the club celebrated its seventh birthday with the now-traditional party that saw staff and followers decamping to Amsterdam (at the club’s expense) after Nude had finished on the Friday night.

  And in July Factory opened the Dry bar ...

  Because acid house had saved our bacon, Tony and Rob seemed to think that everything we touched would turn to gold and so they decided to expand. Paul had had many discussions with Whitbread about putting money up for a bar, so with a bit on work on the dynamic duo . . .

  We opened our bar, Dry, in July, as a place for people to visit prior to coming to the Haçienda. Rob and Tony felt we were missing out because a nightclub’s hours were eleven p.m. until two a.m. They felt the bar filled the missing piece of the jigsaw. We now had somewhere to go during the day and early in the week, as per the original youth-club idea, and running a mere pub should be simple.